Half of you are laughing right now, the other half have finished laughing and are now rubbing your chins thoughtfully. The latter are the guys who have serious field time and have felt the searing pain of the “angry inch.” Taint Paint is a mixture of beeswax, oils and vitamins… essentially, it’s Chapstick for your chode. 2.5 ounces of taint-taming power for $6 from taintpaint.com.