Guess what, your spouse and family are transitioning to new lives just like you are. Gone are the days where Uncle Sam dropped a bag of money on your homes on the 1st and 15th of every month. With this in mind, your husband or wife will likely need the same separation help you’re trying to get, except they aren’t forced to take a TAP class as part of their separation outprocessing checklist – but that doesn’t mean the options aren’t available. It just means you haven’t looked for them.
So the next time your spouse makes you mad, go sign them up for one of these spouse transition courses your base 100 percent definitely has available. In the Marine Corps, they’re called STARS, Spouse Transition and Readiness Seminars, and they’re three hours long. Remind your spouse it’s full of good information they need for the coming years and then go watch the latest Avengers movie without them. Treat yourself.
After he or she has all the information they need, they will likely feel as overwhelmed as you did when first presented with it all. Maybe it will be a good idea to help them plan their transition as any number of people are working to help you plan yours. Without telling your spouse you’re as overwhelmed as they are, sit down in a relaxing environment and have a frank discussion about their goals. Maybe stop at the local Red Lobster (treat yourself) and find out what they want to do when you no longer attached to the military lifestyle.
They might want to go back to school or start their own business if they haven’t already. Maybe they want to live closer to their family and not yours. Maybe they’ll question the entire premise of your marriage, considering you didn’t know they were already an HerbaLife partner and has been for years, that they wants a brick and mortar store in St. Louis, and how dare you watch Endgame, they can smell the popcorn on your clothes. It’s about time you started thinking of someone else for a change.
After you and your spouse make up for your blatant lack of cinematic consideration, get copies of their medical and dental records, update all your legal documents, and prepare financially for the new life you’re building for yourselves, all that’s left will be taking care of your children, if you have them. Luckily all you need to worry about is child care while you’re at school or work because the good folks at Sesame Street have this covered.
The bottom line is your spouse needs all the same information you do. Your family will soon be the only unit of which you are still a member, so whether you’re the commander or just the director of operations, be sure you disseminate necessary information accordingly so he or she can be as prepared as you’re trying to be.
Besides, everything goes better with a partner. There are a lot of people doing this on their own.
